6 MONTH MILESTONE

I am officially 6 months pregnant!

We went to our regular prenatal visit last Tuesday. It was short and sweet and we didn't really get too much information about the babies. Dr. Seale does an ultrasound on me every time because I am considered high risk, which is pretty fun to see them so often. This appointment, Dr. Seale said he wanted to check them out really quick, and he wasn't kidding. I told him that I was excited to see what position they were in because my ribs and back on my right side had been killing me. Well sure enough, both of them are breech still and baby girl is right up in my ribs on the right side. Dr. Seale said that the back pain was likely due to the weight of the babies increasing and my muscles are being strained. He gave me a pamphlet of some stretches to try, hoping some of the pain would be relieved. He then looked at both of their little heart beats and said they were going strong. He didn't tell us how fast they were beating, or even let us hear them. But, we did get to see them beating and all four chambers on both babies. We got to see the chambers really closely when we went to Maternal Fetal Medicine in January. It was so cool at this appointment with Dr. Seale to see how much the chambers had grown. I didn't think it would be so noticeable, but it was a huge difference. That was about the gist of the ultrasound. Dr. Seale then sat me up, verified that I had my next appointment schedule with MFM and him and sent me on my way.

At the time of this last appointment, by back and rib section had been hurting for about a week. It would ache throughout the day, and I couldn't really find anything to relieve it. I tried to get a massage, which was great, but it did not solve the problem. The stretches Dr. Seale gave me haven't really been helping either, and over the past week since my appointment the pain has just gotten worse and worse. I know the babies are there and I understand that could be causing some of the pain, but I knew it wasn't the pain cause. This week, Monday came around and I felt like I had been hit by a bus... My pelvis hurt, I slept horrible because no matter what position I was in my back and side were hurting, I finally felt the weight of everything on my body, and I was waddling like crazy. It was like night and day how fast the feeling of huge pregnancy had set in on me. It took everything in me to get through work that day, and I told Tyk later that night that I didn't think I was going to make it to my last day of work in the middle April. I also told him that my waddle had set in and it is what it is at this point. Well I slept even worse Monday night, and by Tuesday I knew something needed to change. So I decided to go to a Chiropractor to see if they could do an adjustment and relieve some pain. For a minute I felt like the pain was possibly a pinched nerve, so I thought an adjustment would be perfect. I also scheduled a physical therapy appointment for Wednesday, hoping something would give me relief. Well $40 and literally 4 minutes later, I was done with the Chiropractor and felt almost worse than I need when I walked in. I called Tyk when I left the office, and I was really upset. I told him I just wasted $40 and that it did absolutely nothing. I told him that I didn't want to go see a Physical Therapist because it would be a waste of time and money. He said no, that he thought it would be good. He said "The only reason why you feel like that is because the chiropractor didn't help, but what if the physical therapist does? So you should go." Well I ended up going, and it has turned me into a new woman!!! Come to find out, my pelvis was twisted way out of line which has been causing my whole body to compensate. I've had problems with my pelvis twisting since I was a little girl, so why I didn't think about that possibility is beyond me. Chris, the physical therapist, explained to me why this would be causing me so much pain. The pelvis is the foundation for my entire back, and for my babies. That's where they are sitting and growing. So if that is out of wack, then all of that pressure and weight is being distributed unevenly through the rest of my body. Chris did some exercises with me, and ultrasound on my right shoulder, which is way knotted up because I hold all of my stress here, and we did the shock stimulation thing that they do. By the time I walked out of the office, I could already feel a difference. My waddle was gone, and I felt so much lighter. Thank goodness for Chris! Otherwise my students and Tyk would be scraping me off the floor daily, LOL. From here on out, I just need to be consistent with the exercises I was given to make sure my pelvis stays in check.

When I do updates, I feel like I am so negative with this experience, and it may even seem that I'm not fully grateful for this experience. But honestly... I can't express to you just how grateful I am for being able to carry these babies. I've waited so long for this opportunity, and even though its hard and sucks sometimes, and I can get extremely uncomfortable at times, I wouldn't change any of it for the world. I'm just the type of person who doesn't beat around the bush. That's exactly how I want this blog to be too. I don't want to cover up the hard or easy stuff in pregnancy. I mean come on.... I'm growing TWO humans. That's an incredible thing, and if it were easy, we wouldn't be as magnificent as we are as human beings. So I'm going to keep it real in my posts, but I hope you all know that I am truly grateful for this experience.

To all of those women out there that are currently struggling with infertility, if its with your first pregnancy, second, or seventh, I know it doesn't get any easier. It doesn't matter if you already have a baby or four babies. That desire you have burning in your heart hurts and its the deepest pain you will ever feel. But once again... I know there's a plan for you, and a reason behind why right now may not be the  the right time. I was thinking about this again the other night with my own situation. I prayed and prayed for months to be blessed with a baby. But know looking back,  I also wanted other things in my life too. I wanted to finish school. And a career. And a house. And to go on vacations. And to set up a life for myself. I wanted to set myself up for success, and have a better life for my children and myself than what I had while growing up. All of these things were extremely important to me, and still are. And I can honestly say God was listening to these things. He knows me better than anyone else. He knows the true intentions of my heart. He knows that maybe if I was given a baby earlier that I might not have finished school, or started developing a career. He knows that if I hadn't done those things that I would feel like a failure... and he knows that failing is one of my biggest fears. He knew that if I would have had children earlier, that I may not be able to make my dreams that I have for my families future become a reality. He knows that even though I wanted a baby, that then wasn't the right time. He knows that if I would have been given a baby and not have had the chance to accomplish so many of my life goals that I had, that I would be devastated and disappointed. I would have been so beyond grateful for my child or children even and would have never changed it for anything, but I would have been disappointed that I didn't try harder to finish school faster, or save money better, or enjoy my time with Tyker longer. He knows... And I truly believe that for this one and only reason is why my babies are being sent to me now.

I know that infertility and other trials in our lives are hard to understand at the time, even impossible in some situations. But, as time goes by and you get through that trial, you will understand more and more why things happened the way they did. I see this in myself and in my story, and I am so grateful that I have someone in my life that cares about how I truly feel and knows me even better than I know myself to give me the things I need when the time is right. Trust in his plan. I know that it doesn't always make it better, or even easier, but in time you will see the whole plan and it will make perfect sense.

Our next appointment is next Wednesday with Maternal Fetal Medicine. I CAN'T WAIT! I'll post an update shortly after.

Thanks for reading

Love,

Shandee