The Delivery

We got to the hospital right before midnight. My water had broke, and we were ready to get the ball rolling! When I walked in to the emergency room, I told the nurse what was going on as I stood with my legs apart, absolutely soaked and freezing. She got me a wheelchair, and before I sat down I just commented on how wet that seat was about to be if I sat on it. The nurse told me it was fine, and that they'd clean it off. We headed up to labor and deliver. Once I got up there, they had me switch out of the wheelchair to a regular chair. When I stood up to move, the nurse that had just wheeled me up said "Wow" as she looked at how wet the wheelchair was! Ha! I told you lady.... Sorry! Lol. I told the labor and delivery nurse the same thing, that this chair I was about to sit on was going to get really wet. She said "Oh we don't care, we see it all the time!" She got me checked in and we were taken to a room quickly. The nurse told me to change into a gown and to push the nurse button when we were ready. Well I took to long to get in my gown and the nurse was back as I was standing in the bathroom naked trying to figure out how to button up that stupid gown. She helped out and got me situated on the bed. Tage and Kyla had parked the car at this point and were there for the action. We had to have them go out for a couple of minutes so the nurse could make sure that the fluid that I was leaking was actually amniotic fluid. I remember thinking to myself... "Really people, I literally just dropped like a gallon of fluid. I'm POSITIVE that it was not pee." But I guess all patients that are under 36 weeks of gestation have to be tested. Well It didn't take long for the little tab that she used to turn positive for amniotic fluid. The nurse then checked to see how dilated my cervix was at this point, finding that I was at a 3. She then put my IV in and I was beginning to feel small contractions. Tage and Kyla came back into the room, and we told them to go home. We had some time to go before the babies were coming. They decided to leave, at this time being about 2 AM.

My mom and sister got there soon after we did, all excited and ready for the babies to come. Robin came next and then left to grab some food for mom and Karli. When she came back, I could tell something was wrong. She came over to the bed and said "I'm just going to go home." I asked her why and she said "just cuz." I said "No Robin, why are you leaving." and she said the same answer. So finally I said "Robin I want you here and I need you to stay. You are apart of this, and if you are willing to stay I want you to stay." She looked at me for about half a second and then said, "okay, I'll stay."

The nurse came in again and asked if I wanted my epidural soon. I didn't really know how to answer the question. I had never done this before, so how am I supposed to know when to get it and when to not. I was contracting a lot more at this point and they were getting to the point where I had to stop talking when they would come and just concentrate on breathing through them due to the pain. Karli had said "Shand don't wait too long. Thats what I did. So then when I finally got the epidural, I pumped so much into me that I couldn't feel a thing. I couldn't even move my legs, it was awful!" So I told the nurse to have the anesthesiologist come give it to me. He was on another one at the time, but was in my room within about 20 minutes to do mine. This is one thing that I was kinda nervous about getting put in as I thought about delivery throughout my pregnancy. I've just heard what other people have said about it, and i've seen those GINORMOUS needles they use, but honestly it was cake! And the feeling you have when it goes in, is really the weirdest, hardest thing to describe! I wish I could think of words to describe how it feels, but as i'm sitting here writing and trying to figure out a word, I just can't think of any. Its just one of those things you have to experience I guess. Once that got into my system, I was feeling pretty relaxed. I never got to the point where I couldn't feel my contractions. They were just very subtle, which was exactly how I wanted it. Come 6:30, the nurse checked me again. I was dilated to just under a 10 and the nurse had be push just for a second to see if I could get to a full 10. Well it worked and now it was waiting for doctor time. We called Gregg who had stayed home to sleep until we said it was time. It was kinda funny how fast he made it to the hospital. Well it seemed fast on my part. I guess he was just excited to finally be a grandpa!

My doctor already had a patient that was induced the night before, so he was ready to come for whoever was ready first. Well it ended up being the other gal, so we just hung out and waited for him to be ready for my delivery. At about 8 AM there was a knock at the door and in came Dr. Seale. He said "Well everything looks good, are you ready?" I said yes and he said "Okay, we'll see you in there." Since I was having twins, I had to deliver in the Operating Room in case of any type of emergency. This was kinda a hard thing for me when we first found this out. Only because in the operating room you can only have your spouse in there with you. I hadn't fully decided who I wanted to be in the room when I delivered when I found this information out, but the fact that I didn't even have a choice was upsetting to me. While I was at one of my prenatal visits, I had talked with Dr. Seale about this rule. He explained to me that it was not up to him at all, that it was the hospitals policy, or labor and deliveries. Well he told me that I could possibly have one more person with me, but he couldn't be absolutely positive. I was okay with that, and I had then decided that if I could not have my mom, sister, and Mother-in-Law in the room with me, then I wanted none of them. I was going to have my friend Erin instead. I was going to have her shoot a birth story of the delivery, and then everyone could see the pictures, and I didn't leave anyone out. Well that didn't end up happening how it was planned. Erin was in Las Vegas for the weekend, and I was super upset that she couldn't be there. But really when it came down to it, the labor and delivery nurses were not going to let her in there anyway. They were very strict with the policy and said absolutely no one else could be in the Operating Room with me besides my husband. At one point during the night Karli asked me if she could be in the Operating Room with me. I told her no, that if not everyone could be in there, then no one could be. This was all before we knew that the nurses were going to be such sticklers for the night. Karli just kept saying "please Shand, we have been planning this since Bryn was born."   BrynDee is my niece, she'll be 9 at the end of June. So it's been quite a while that "we had been planning this." Then it turned into her asking me with tears coming down her face. And honestly I understood how much this meant to her, I was just stuck between a rock and a hard spot. My mom even told me to let Karli come in the room, and said that she wouldn't be upset. It really wasn't my mom that I was having a hard time with. I knew that she experienced this with Karli when Bryn was born. It was Robin that I was having a hard time with. I didn't want to leave her out. Her and I have such a special relationship, and I am the daughter that she never had. So for her not to be able to be in the delivery room with me was a really big deal to me. I was so sad about it, but I did know that she would understand if I let Karli be. I explained all of this to my mom and Karli and they understood. I finally decided that it would be okay if not everyone was in the room, and that I needed to let Karli be apart of this special time in my life. I told her that we could ask the nurse, but I couldn't be positive that they would let her come. This was all when Robin had left the room for something. When she came back I explained to her that Karli was going to come with me into the Operating Room. And like I knew she would be, Robin was so understanding and sensitive to the situation. So now it was on to the nurses. For the longest time, they just kept saying no. They said there is absolutely no was they would be letting her in. I just kept working the nurse and she did what she could with the charge nurses. Well when it was about time for me to be taken into the Operating Room, my nurse came into the room and said that Karli could come into the room, but if anything crazy began to happen that she would need to leave immediately. Karli just keeping saying " ok ok, I will, ok."

In came two nurses with outfits for Tyk and Karli to put on. It was about 8 AM and it was go time. I started crying as soon as I realized how serious everything just got. The nurses had me put on a head cap too and I gave hugs to my mom, Robin, and Gregg. The nurses began to wheel me out of my room and I was just full of emotions. I couldn't believe that my babies were finally going to be here, that I wasn't going to be pregnant anymore, that we were going to be parents, FINALLY. It was all a little overwhelming, and such and incredible feeling. As I got into the Operating Room, the nurses had me move from my bed to the operating table. In came Dr. Seale and the first thing he said to me was "are you okay?" I shook my head back to him and said "this has just been a long time coming." I began to push on my next contraction. Two contractions later, my little man was born! I was a momma! Tyker and Karli were so cute while I had been pushing. Tyk was on my right holding my hand, and Karli on my left. While pushing, they were both my cheerleaders! I just remember them saying "you can do it, keep going Shand, you're doing so good, good job, keep going, push push push!" Dr. Seale sat Bannik on my belly/chest for about 30 seconds so I could see him. I just cried as I looked at him. And then he was whisked away to be analyzed. Tyk looked at me with tears in his eyes, told me good job, and gave me a kiss. I remember thinking at this point, "man that was pretty easy! If I only had one baby I'd be done already?" When we had gotten into the OR, Dr. Seale did a quick ultrasound on my belly to see what position MiLynn was in. She was transverse, and he told me that she would likely flip head down and soon as brother was born. Sure enough, right as soon as Bannik was out, MiLynn was right where she need to be. Two contractions after Bannik was born, I started pushing for MiLynn. She was just as easy as Brother, two contractions of pushing and my baby girl was born, 7 minutes later than her brother! Dr. Seale sat MiLynn on my belly/chest like he had done Bannik. She didn't cry very quick and then she let out the sweetest, softest little cry. I just looked at her, and remember thinking "wow look at all of her hair!" Dr. Seale handed her to the nurse and cleaned me up. I honestly should have 14 babies with how smooth my delivery went. I was in and out of the OR in less than 30 minutes with delivery twins! I could not have wished for a better experience!

Thanks for reading,

Love,
Shandee

Post Delivery (Written 5/8/17)

I have to write about this first week while I remember it. 

Once I delivered, I had to go back to my room to recover for 1 hour. On the way out as they were rolling me away on the hospital bed, they showed me both of the babies in the room next to me and it was pretty upsetting to me. I see MiLynn first and they have one of those oxygen masks with the bag on the end on her face pumping oxygen into her lungs. I remember the nurse saying they are just doing that to open up her lungs. I don't care what they were doing, no new mom wants to see their brand new baby like that... they rolled me around to another door so I could see Bannik and honestly I can't even remember really seeing him because I was upset about MiLynn. 

We got back to the room, where my mom, Robin, and Gregg were waiting for me. We walked in and my mom said "we have babies!" And I told her yes! They all gave me a huge hug and Karli said how good I did. The nurse got me all set up on the best way to recover, and told me in an hour that I could go see my babies and then they'd move me to postpartum. During that hour, Karli and I talked about the delivery and how smooth everything went. She got some pictures on her phone and recorded right as the babies came out, so she showed my mom, Robin, and Gregg that. Tyk stayed back with the babies for a couple of minutes and then he was back in my room too. He even says that it was too hard for him to watch the nurses and doctors poke our babies to put in IV's and do the required actions for the time being. 

When my hour was up, the nurse transferred me to a wheel chair and took me to see my babies in the NICU. I can't even explain how devastating this first experience seeming my babies for more than 30 seconds was. I knew before they were born that they would need some extra help and that they would be in the NICU for a while. I mean, they were born more than a month early what can you expect. But as we rolled in there, it was extremely hard to see them like that at first. I saw Bannik first, and I immediately started crying. He had been hooked up to a ventilator to help him breath, and he had tubes coming out and going in everywhere. He looked like he was having the hardest time breathing. The nurse told me that he had a collapsed chest and that it was something that they saw every so ofter, it would be like that his whole life, it was a genetic condition that happens, and it wasn't going to really effect him. I don't care if it was any of those things, he had it and I felt like it was my fault. We went over and saw MiLynn who was just a few steps away, and once again I don't really remember seeing her. The nurse kept telling me things about their care and other stuff and at this point I was so overwhelmed and exhausted that I couldn't even keep my eyes open to listen to what she was saying. I told Tyker I wanted to leave, and nurse took me to my room.

We got to my postpartum room and my mom, Karli, and Gregg were there. I got settled in the bed and began to tell them about the babies. I just cried as I talked about Bannik. I told them I felt like it was my fault that he had all of that happening to him and how much it looked like he was struggling. They all reassured me that it wasn't my fault, and that it was just time for them to come. I fell asleep shortly after that and slept for about three hours. 

The nurses came in and woke me up at about 3 o'clock. They made me get up to go to the bathroom and the whole time I thought Tyk was asleep in the chair or on the couch. Once I realized he wasn't in the room at all, I remember telling the nurses that I didn't know where my husband was, but probably getting some food. They left and I called Tyk. "Hi where are you?" He replies "I'm with the babies." How cute is this!!!? It made me smile and he told me he'd be right there to get me. When we got back to the NICU, it was a much better experience than the first time. Bannik was already off of the ventilator and his little chest was not moving up and down a hundred miles per hour just to breath. The nurse came back and talked with us about both of them, and explained how their care times worked. They have care times every three hours. This is the best time for us to see them because they change their bums, take their temperature, feed them, give them baths, and do anything else they need. They are awake during this time! At this time, it went care time. So we sat for a little bit and watched them and then went back to the room. 

We finally ordered some food from the cafeteria and I tried pumping for the first time. It wasn't horrible but I maybe got half a drop out in a 15 minute time period. I expected this, so I didn't mind. Our food came and I had chicken noodle soup. That soup is sooo good! I think I said this in my earlier post when I was in the hospital for preterm labor, but I'm serious, it's amazing! We just relaxed for a little while and then Tyk's parents came to see how we were doing. 

We all went down to see the babies at 7 and this is when I got to hold Bannik for the first time! I just sat and cried with him for a couple of minutes. It was such a special moment for me because he was my sick baby and I wanted nothing more than to just hold and protect him. We got to do skin to skin and I held him for over an hour while he looked at me and I told him how much I loved him. Tyk held MiLynn and she opened her eyes to look at her daddy. This was such a special night for both of us. We left feeling a lot better about how our babies were and knew that we just needed to give them time. 

The next day we went and saw the babies all throughout the day. When we went in early that morning, MiLynn had her oxygen tube that's supposed to go in her nose in her mouth! I asked the nurse if that's where it was supposed to be and of course she said no. She then told us that her oxygen saturation level hadn't even gone down with that not being in her nose, and she took her off of it! Yay! One down, one to go! Everyone had told us that little boys have a harder time than little boys, so asked the nurse if it was boys in multiple baby situations or was that the case in singleton births as well. She simply turned her head to me and said "white boys." Well there ya have it. White boys are little sissy's! Just kidding. But really if you think about it, boys in general mature slower than girls in most all things, do it makes sense. Bannik didn't take long though, he was off of the oxygen later that night! 

We got discharged the next day, Tuesday at this point. I could not wait to be home. We had the option to board in the hospital if we wanted to while the babes are in the NICU, but who in their right mind would want to stay in the hospital any longer than they had to... I think I'd feel different if we didn't live so close, but there was no way I was about to do that in our situation. Hospitals are not places to feel comfortable. There is people prying at you every couple of hours, the beds are awful, and they just suck! So we went and seen the babies and then we headed home for a couple of hours. On the way, we had to stop at the home health care place to get a breast pump. Tyk went in to pick it up, and came out empty handed. He told me that they need a pre-authorization from my insurance in order to pick it up and to come back later before they closed at 6. I was not okay with this. I needed that pump as soon as I got home and my insurance should have already authorized the transaction. So I called my insurance and the sweet lady gave me the authorization number over the phone and wished us lucky with the twins. I decided that I was going inside this time and I was coming back out with a pump. Tyk said "Shand don't be mean to her. It's not her fault!" Ha! I wasn't planning to be mean, I was just going to show her the urgency of my situation and explain that I needed the pump now. But I didn't even have to do that. As soon as she got the authorization number she said "give me a minute to get your pump." From there I had to sign some papers and we were on our way!

It was so nice to finally be home, but it was really hard to not have the babies with us. I can honestly say though, I wish every mom had the chance to come home without their babies for 3 nights so they had the chance to take care of themselves, sleep, and recover before they have to take care of a baby as well. Hospitals are not a place for sleep, so you are exhausted, you're figuring out this new life that you so happy have just entered, and its tough... So yes it sucked to not have my babies for the first little while, but I truly am so grateful that I was able to recover from the deliver before we got to bring them home. Once babies are home, it was see ya later to sleep, sanity, and me time... which I would change for anything, but its a still a transition that takes time!

Thanks for reading!

Love,
Shandee