WE'RE HAVING TWINS!!!!!!

Our first ultrasound was so amazing!!! You have to remember, that we've been through this "first ultrasound at 7 or 8 weeks" thing before.... It wasn't a good experience, nor the outcome that we had been hoping for or expecting. So this time around, we were as prepared for the worst as possible.

Altogether this pregnancy has been so different than my first. During my first pregnancy, I wasn't sick at all. I wasn't tired. I had pretty much absolutely no signs of pregnancy whatsoever besides that stupid pee stick that said positive. This time around.... I can not even explain to you just how plan out exhausted I have been, and its been since within a week of my transfer. All I want to do is sleep. I can never get enough sleep! Even if I slept 24 hours straight, I would probably wake up for 3 and want to go back to sleep for another 8. Its crazy how the tiredness comes from such a deep place within you too. I have been tired and exhausted before, but this tired is a completely different tired. Right now I like to be in bed no later than 9 pm. In the mornings at school I have 1st and 5th periods prep, which has been such a blessing. So for the past couple of weeks I haven't been getting out of bed till around 7:30 am or later. And then I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get out the door to make it to school by the time the bell for 2nd/6th period to start... Honestly, it hasn't been a good habit to get into, but I plan on breaking it soon! The other symptom I have had is being hungry! I have to eat just about a full meal every 2-3 hours or I get horrible stomach pains. So i'm constantly eating something to make that not happen. I know my students have noticed, and i'm sure their probably thinking "whoa lady, you can't wait to eat that oatmeal until lunch?" Ha! Oh well though, I have to do that or i'm sick. I have also had some nausea at night time. Its while I am sleeping, so I haven't been sleeping the best the past week and a half or so. And lastly the vomitting.... Thankfully I have not had too much of this, twice so far is all. I hope this remains on the DL, because no one likes to be doing that.

Our first ultrasound appointment wasn't until later in the afternoon, so Tyker and I had another dreadfully long day of waiting. We had to drive separate to the clinic and I had gotten there about 10 minute early. On my way, I called Tyk to make sure he was on his way and he didn't answer.  I called again like 5 minutes later, no answer. So again I called. I didn't want him to think that it was an emergency, but I was getting angry and I knew he was getting my phone calls. He has an apple watch... so my phone calls were literally ringing on his wrist. After about 5 calls, Tyk finally called me back. From there, no I probably wasn't as nice as I could have been, but I was really stressed about the situation and I just wanted to make sure he was going to be on time. And we were! I signed into the front desk, and was called back to the exam room shortly after. I got all prepped and ready to go, and we waited for the nurse practitioner Anne Marie to come in. She took longer than normal, and I knew this was going to happen. When we were walking back to our room, she was just walking into the exam room next to me. Tyk couldn't sit down, and kept pacing back and forth. I told him to just sit and be patient, and he's said "No I can't sit. I need to stand. Where is she?!! Why is this taking so long!" By the time Anne Marie came in, we had only been waiting maybe five minutes. Both of our anxiety was through the roof at this point, and all we wanted to see was that little flutter of a heart (or two). Anne Marie had asked me how I was feeling, and I told her I had been really tired and getting more and more nauseous. She clarified with us that we had transferred two and then said "I'm going to get this ready and in position and then I will turn the scream for you to see." I remember taking a deep breath and waiting for her next response. She then said "well there is definitely two." As she pushed the screen in our direction to see the ultrasound, she said "Are you ready for twins!" I immediately started crying as I saw the two flutters of heart beats on the screen. Tyk grabbed my arm, and just kept saying "wow, look at that." in such a sweet soothing voice. Anne Marie measured both of our babies and we got to listen to each of their heart beats and recorded one of them. She then looked at me and said "Is this okay?" I must have had a weary face. I just told her I was so overjoyed. I explained to her that the last time we had been through this we never saw a heart beat, and that I was just in aww of the situation. It worked out that the day of our ultrasound was one day short of our two year mark that we went in for my D & C the first time around. She then finished up the ultrasound, printing us out a few copies of each baby to take home with us. We were then instructed on when our next appointment would be, and Anne Marie explained to me that this appointment would be with Dr. G. She would give me all of my medical records and I would be graduating from the fertility clinic this day! This is wonderful news, but also a little bittersweet. I love the Utah Fertility Center. I love my doctor there, and all of the staff that I have worked with throughout this experience. They have all taken such good care of me, and I just hope to get the same care at my regular OBGYN.  I'm glad to be graduating from UFC so soon after my very first visit. And as much as I love them... I hope I never have to go back! But, in the case that I do I'll know exactly what I'm getting myself into and that they truly care about me and my situation.

To see our BABIES  (that's plural, I can't believe it!) healthy and growing was such an amazing experience. Tyk likes to kid around and say we got a two fur, or a BOGO. He says we bought one and got one free! Or it was a Two fur One deal. Its been a good joke around here! We are so excited about this next journey that we are starting on, and are just praying that everything continues to go well. Our next appointment is this coming week and it can't come soon enough. My 40 Week due date is June 1, 2017, but twins tend to come about 4 weeks early so we're shooting for around May 4, 2017.

Thank you all for continuing to read our story! We still can't believe we are going to be a family of 4... but could not be more grateful for this opportunity! Our lives our truly in Gods timing. I know first hand how hard this is to understand, but when it does happen you will understand exactly why it took so long.

The updates will keep coming, maybe slowly.... but surely!

We love you all, and once again thank you for all of your love, prayers, and support!!!

Love,
Shandee

Transfer Details

So.... Lets talk about the transfer.

From the start of this whole journey, Tyker and I had both had the idea of transferring two embryos. We just felt like why not, I mean, we're going through this whole process... Why not give ourselves the best chance possible. And we didn't mind the idea of having twins. Well throughout the whole process, this decision that we felt so confident about swayed back and forth from "Theres no way that we can do two", to "Maybe we do do two." Tyker started thinking about the financial aspect of it all. He talked to me one day about how could we afford twins, and what happens if I end up not being able to work, will we be able to afford our house. There were so many concerns going through his head, and I felt them too! My thoughts on if to do two or one were different though. I was so worried about the egg quality that we would have, if we would get any embryos at all, and if we would have any to freeze. 

When we went in for our retrieval, my doctor had told me that I had done everything I could do at that point, that my job was done. She then told us that she was expecting to get 4 embryos from me. This was like a huge slap in the face... I remember thinking to myself, "out of all of the follicles that are ready to harvest... I'm going to get 4. I don't mean to sound ungrateful for the 4 that she expected, because it only takes one to make a baby, but I was so discouraged. There was no guarantee that any of those 4 would be viable embryo's, and I focused on that. We went through with the transfer and got 15 follicles retrieved. So then again I'm thinking... out of 15, we're going to get 4 that will fertilize properly? That day they combined the eggs retrieved with Tyker's sperm, and the waiting began. How it works is you do your retrieval and then you go home. The next day the clinic calls you with a fertilization report on your eggs, and then you don't hear anything for two days until you go in for your transfer. On our day three report, we ended up getting pretty good news! They want to see the embryos have between 6-8 cells by this day. We had 9 eggs out of our 15 that had progressed and began to fertilize and develop cells. Out of the 9, we had 1-5 cell, 1-6 cell, 4-7 cells, 3-8 cells. We were stoked with the news and it was such a relief that we had some babies in the making! By day 3 after retrieval, I was super nervous to find out the embryo quality report. At this point, I knew that we had eggs that fertilized but what if they aren't good enough quality to attach and create a baby? Yes, I know, I worry about every little thing, but thats just how I work. 

Transfer day came and Dr. G came in to the room with our embryo report. She told us that we had 4 embryos that looked just about perfect, and three other embryos that were trying to catch up. She then asked us if we had decided if we were going to transfer 1 or 2. 2 is the max amount that she told us that she would transfer.  I told her that we thought we knew but now we're not sure. Dr. G then began to going into the differences between transferring 1 verses 2. She told us that if we transferred 1 that we would have a 60% chance of pregnancy. She told us that our chances of miscarriage were this amount, which was lower than 10% i think. She talked about pregnancy complications, and risks to baby and momma. She then told us that if we decided to transfer 2 embryos that we would have a 70% chance of pregnancy, 50% chance of twins, and a 5% chance of triplets. She talked about all of the same risks and complication possibilities. With each of them, the percentages of risk went up about 10%. Dr. G then told us she would give us a few minutes to talk about it, and her and my mom left the room.  Tyk and I started discussing each possibility. He told me at this point that he wasn't worried about finances with twins, that we would work it out and its not something we should stress about now. We talked about what if we transfer 1 and it doesn't take, and the same thing even with transferring 2. We talked about the risks of each. This was the scariest part. We have already been through a miscarriage, and other complications with have a D & C. Did we really want to increase the risk of all of that happening again? We talked about transferring 2 and possibly having Premies and the challenges that our sweet babies would have to overcome. And we talked about the percentages of becoming pregnant with each option. I finally asked Tyk... "What are you feeling, what do you think we should do?' He said "I feel like we should do two." I then told him that I felt the same way. We talked about how we have come this far and gone through all of the shots, appointments, expenses, stress, tears, why wouldn't we give ourselves the highest chance possible for pregnancy, and we are willing to take any miracle that Heavenly Father has in store for us. My Mom came back into the room and I told her we had made our decision, and then asked her what her opinion was. She said the same thing, after all of this I would want to give myself the best chance possible. Then Dr. G came back into the room with a big smile on her face. She said "So what did you decide." I told her we had decided to do 2 and asked her if she thought we were crazy. I remember her saying "Oh no! I think that is great. Have you seen our hall of fame, we do 2 all the time. I didn't give you the option to do 3, this when its crazy, and nothing good can come from that." I LOVED this answer, she said exactly what I needed. 

This decision was super stressful and scary for both Tyk and I. This was our potential future that we had to decide right then and there. We both felt like it was the right thing to do, and the rest was up to God in if we were going to be blessed with 1,2,3, possibly even 4 little babies or no babies at all. We did the transfer and Dr. G was sure to ensure me that the embryos were right where they needed to be and that they couldn't fall out. HA! I though that was great news.... you never know what could happen. 

The rest of our embryos were able to be frozen, and the our three that were tagging along were part of the freeze! We have a total of 5 embryos that are waiting for us for a later time. We are so grateful and blessed to have had our very first round of In Vitro Fertilization work for us. 4 in 10 cases take the first IVF cycle resulting in a pregnancy. I don't even have words to describe how grateful I am to be within that 4...   Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all of your prayers that have been sent our way through this process. We love you!

Another update from our first ultrasound will be coming TOMORROW!!!! Stay tuned for the update.

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Shandee 

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!

I'm finally getting around to doing an update! I am SOOO beyond tired all the time, that all I want to do right now is sleep… So I've had good intentions on writing an update for the past week or two, but other things have taken priority! 

We had our first blood draw to see if we were pregnant on September 23rd! It was at seven in the morning and this was the longest week ever leading up to the appointment. I had been calm the week before, but this week I had massive anxiety and could not do anything to get my mind off of the situation. I was pretty crampy all week and as each day went on I got more and more tired. I could tell something different was going on in my body, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I had never done In Vitro before so I didn't know what to expect as far as the aftereffects went. I just knew that if I wasn't pregnant…that I was about to have a wicked cycle ahead! 

So we did the blood draw and we told the nurse to just leave the results on my voicemail. We wanted to listen to the voicemail together, and knew that if they didn't leave a voicemail that it would be hard to get a hold of them later on that day. After I got done with school I had an appointment to get my nails done. The voicemail was sitting on my phone eagerly waiting for us to listen to it. Everyone I had talk to that day told me what will power I had for not listening to it. I would just explain to them that Tyker and I had gone through this whole experience together and we wanted to find out together as well. And… Who would want to find out bad news alone? Once I got home from my nail appointment Tyk wasn't home yet. So I patiently waited pacing back-and-forth! Once we were both home, I told Tyker that I wanted to record us listening to the voicemail. He said "What if it's bad news?" I told him that I had already thought about this, And then he replied "Well then we just deleted video I guess!" So we set up the phone to record and we sat on the couch to listen to the voicemail. I attach the video below, see you can watch it if you'd like!

We had told our families earlier in the week that no matter what the news was on Friday, that we were going to take time to tell them. Secretly we had plans on how we wanted to tell them if the news was good. If the news was bad, we were just gonna call and tell them the news was bad. Once we found out that it was good and that we were pregnant, we had a busy night ahead! First we headed over to Tyker's parents house. His dad Gregg's birthday was the week before and we had planned on telling the family with a gift for his birthday. When we were pregnant the first time, it was around Gregg's birthday as well. We decided the first time we were pregnant, that we were going to tell him with a football jersey onesie of his favorite team. When we miscarried, we wanted to get rid of that dumb jersey but we didn't. So for the past two years it's been in the top of our closet out of sight out of mind. Well… We decided we wanted to do the same idea, so we unburied the Jersey and got it ready in a box with a cute saying. It said "GRANDPA! You better make room in your chair, we've got lots of games to watch next season!" Check the picture out below!

Well, Robin and Gregg weren't home, so we were off to the next stop, my mom's work! She works at the IRS in Ogden so before we jump through loopholes to try to get in, we walked around the parking lot to see if her car was there. It wasn't… So we decided to head to my sister Karli's house. I bet you can guess, she wasn't home either. At this point I was a bit discouraged and told Tyk that we should just go home kind of in a kidding way! We were hungry, so we stopped at Arby's for some dinner! We then made our way to my moms house and guess what she was home!

By this time it was about 8 o'clock so it was dark outside. We snuck to the front of the house and rang the doorbell. I had made a sign that I was holding up that said Maca round three!!! So when the first grandbaby BrynDee was born she started calling my mom Maca so now my mom is known as Maca Lisa! Tyker was recording as my mom opened the door, and she didn't know who it was going to be at her door at 8 o'clock at night so she was peeking out until she realized who it was and read the sign. she said "ARE YOU KIDDING!" as she swung the door open to hug me. You can see the rest below I attached a video!

We tried my sisters house again on our way home from my moms. She was home this time and we decided to do a similar sign to what we did for my mom. As we ring the doorbell I heard BrynDee say "Mom I got it!" This was perfect I could then tell BrynDee to go get her mom, but that's not what happened… My sign wasn't up when Karli was the one that answered the door! She was on the phone looked at the sign and said "you're pregnant I knew it I knew you were!!" This video is posted below too!

We then made our way home but had one last stop on the way. To pull the gift off for the rest of the family, Tyker had told Robin and Tage that we had gotten a t-shirt for Gregg for his birthday online. Tyk made up this awesome lie to cover up the real gift. He told them both that we found a shirt that said "Vintage made in 1961 all original parts", in a Harley Davidson type of way. They totally believed it, so that's what they were expecting when Gregg opened the gift. The whole family knew that we had done the blood test that morning, so Tyk had to make it clear that we had decided not to listen to the voicemail until we went to bed that night. We just told them that we wanted to enjoy our Friday night and we would listen to it at the end of the night, which was another fib… But we wanted it to be a surprise! So Gregg began to open his present and as soon as he did Robin peaked over and saw the sign that was in there saying GRANDPA! She starting making some noise and Tage and Kyla (my cute soon to be sister-in-law) jumped up to see what the big deal was! Tage yelled "YES!", Kyla did a cute dance, Gregg started tearing up (which is common for him) and Robin made her way over to us for hugs! This also was caught on video, and posted below! 

Like I had posted in my previous blog post, how I was going to surprise our family with our pregnancy had always been a big deal to me. And now that that experience has passed, I can say that it was absolutely perfect! I'm so happy we got it all on video as well. Now I can share that with our baby, and look back on that memory forever! 

I have so much more to tell, and another post will be coming soon. Thank you for your patience with me and all of your support!

Love, 

Shandee

Post Transfer

It's been a bit since my last post! Sorry, I've been busy with school and Gossip Girl. No really haha... I usually never watch tv at all, but I find myself only wanting to binge watch episode after episode. It's not a good habit to get into. But! I am supposed to be taking it easy, and I would classify my recent actions as just that.

We had our transfer appointment last Tuesday, so it's been a week!! Pretty much the longest week of my life. Our appointment was at 12:30, so I worked half a day. For the procedure, I was awake and just took a Valium to relax. Knowing this, I asked my mom if she could pick me up from school and drive me down and back. She was stoked when I asked her to come, what mother wouldn't want to be in the room when her daughter gets impregnated!! ;) Good thing our situation is a LITTLE different... Tyk works in West Valley City, so he just met us at the clinic in Pleasant Grove. When we got into the procedure room, Dr. Gurtcheff came in and talked with us about our embryo status. We had 4 embryos that had progressed to where they could be transferred! We had 3 more that were still trying to get there. She gave us our options of transferring 1 or 2 embryos, as well as all of the statistics of both, the risks, and her recommendation. She then explained that this is our autonomy and ultimately this decision is up to us. She and my mom then stepped out of the room to give Tyk and I a chance to talk alone. We went back and forth on what to do, what are future could hold, and finally made a decision. We've decided that this decision is personal, and that we're not going to share AT THIS TIME. I realize that when I chose to write this blog that I opened myself up to the world and thus far I do believe that I have done that. So... I will share, I promise! I will give all details and how we came up with the decision, but for now just know that the transfer went great and we were able to freeze some for a later time if needed! 

Last Wednesday and Thursday I had my princess days, and I didn't think of what COULD be going on in my body too much, but now that it's getting closer to finding out it's a lot of what I think about! I'm trying to stay level headed, and I realize that we have done absolutely everything we can possible and now it's out of our hands. This is so easy to say, but I'm still human, and I still having feelings and emotions. So honestly.... I want to be real, and I want to share how I'm feeling, to show that it's normal. I'm worried. And about some of the silliest things! I'm worried that I won't be pregnant, that I could be but it could turn out to be a chemical pregnancy, that I will have to do this whole process again and that I won't be able to do it, that it won't work again the second time, how I'm going to tell my family, friends, and all of you the news if good or not so good (yes that is so silly to worry about I know), and that I'm worrying at all. I'm worrying about things that are completely out of my control for the most part, and I realize this. So I just go back to Gods plan for my family and I've been praying that his plan is now. That now is when we're supposed to start our family. That now is when this chapter of our lives is going to end. That now is the time where Tyker and I finally get the blessing of becoming parents. I pray that now is the time where my plan and Gods plan are finally going to coincide. 

I finally for the first time throughout this whole journey, had a crying breakdown. Sunday night Tyker and I started talking about how we would tell our families the news. I have been looking on Pinterest and Etsy all week for ways to tell them. I'm more stressed about this than the actually news. So as we were talking about it I started crying and Tyk was so confused why! He said "Why are you sad, this is not something to be sad about." I just told him back that I was "not sad, I'm just upset!"  Haha like there is much difference... I explained to him that telling our family that we are having a baby has been a dream of mine since I was a teenager. I explained it similar to how I looked forward to my wedding day. I've just had this "idea" of how it was going to be and now, with our situation, it's kinda put a kibosh to that. They've kept tabs on what's going on, when things are happening, how I'm feeling, and everything else. So any sort of surprise that I have planned on my WHOLE life, is out of the question. I think I should just quit planning...

Other than that one episode of tears, this journey has been fairly simple for me. I've felt pretty good throughout the whole process, other than being tired! I feel blessed that it has gone smooth and if round two is coming... I'm ready for ya!

Bare with me with the next update. Hopefully good news will be coming soon!!! 

Stay tuned.... And ALWAYS thank you for reading and for all of the love and support! 

Love, 

Shandee

Retrieval COMPLETE!!

Whelp folks, that's right.... we made it through the retrieval!

We had to be at the clinic in Pleasant Grove Thursday morning at 7:45. I made a plan with Tyk Wednesday night that we wanted to leave at 6:25 in the morning. He thought I was a little wack that I wanted to leave so early, but I just wanted to give us extra time for whatever might happen. I told him "I would rather be there early waiting, than them waiting on us and then we miss our retrieval time!" He just shook his head in agreeance. I can't even explain how wonderful he has been through this whole process. I get cranky, and even mean sometimes. And he doesn't react to me, just takes it and treats me like I am the sweetest thing ever. I really appreciate it, because sometimes... I don't deserve it. So thanks Tyk, you really are more than I could even ask for!

Thursday morning came around and we ended up having to stop at Northridge on our way to Pleasant Grove to drop off groceries for my ProStart class. I grocery shopped Wednesday night, but the checker at Walmart took WAYY too long to ring us out and we needed to get to Tyker's basketball game. It did turn into a funny thing standing in the checkout line though. I was beginning to get frustrated and anxiety because the dude was going so slow. We had just watched Zootopia over the weekend and Tyk leaned into me as he saw me getting anxious and said "It's okay babe, it's Flash Flash Ten Yard Dash!" This made me laugh, and made me calm down a little bit. So We ended up leaving at 6:10 Thursday morning, which was ten minutes later than I wanted to. We got the groceries to the school and headed on our way. Tyk knew I was stressed about time and got us to the clinic ten minutes early! As we went in, the front receptionist welcomed me in and told me that the anesthesiologist would be with us shortly. As we were sitting there, he came out to talk to another guy that was in the waiting room, and told him that his wife was done and just waking up. I thought to myself, "wow she had to be here early! And they've already done one retrieval this morning. That's going to be me soon!" It made me excited and nervous to think about. The anesthesiologist called me back and we headed back into a procedure room. He talked with us about what was going to happen and I had to sign a paper stating that I wanted anesthesia and that he could bill my insurance. He put my IV in,  told me that I wouldn't feel anything and that I would actually ask when we were going to get started after the retrieval was done. Dr. Gurtcheff came in then and asked how I was feeling. She told me that I've done really good with all of the treatment thus far. She said that I've done everything I can to this point and pretty much that the damage was done in a nutshell. She was very positive and sensitive to the situation. After she left, the anesthesiologist told Tyk that it was time for him to go do his part. I think you can figure out what that is without too much detail. Tyk told me he loved me and left the room.

As I was laying there, the anesthesiologist told me to sit up and lean forward. I later told Tyk that he told me to lean forward and touch my toes, but I think this was the drugs talking haha! I leaned forward and the anesthesiologist asked how I was feeling. In a previous surgery I had for endometriosis I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and was really nauseous afterward. I told the anesthesiologist this the night before the retrieval. I told him I was feeling fine, and then I pointed to the stirrups and asked "Did I already put my legs in here?" He looked at me and said "Yes you did." He really was not lying when he said I was going to ask when we were going to get started. I literally thought I was laying on the exam table this whole time listening to music. He's way too good at his job! lol. He then got me to my feet and walked me over to the door. I remember looking down a hallway where there was a rocking chair in the far room. I also remember thinking I hope I don't have to walk all the way down there.. Well I did and I made it just fine. On the way, we passed the lab and the anesthesiologist explained to me that that is where they will keep my embryos, but that no one is in there right now because they are counting how many follicles they got from me. He got me in a nice comfy recliner and gave me a heating pad and blanket. I was content. Tyker came in and hung out with me for a bit. The anesthesiologist came in after a while and told us we were good to go. As I started to get up I got really nauseous and decided I wasn't ready to go. The anesthesiologist gave me a Dramamine and told Tyk that it would knock me out but it should help. We sat for a little bit longer, waiting for that to kick in and then decided to try again. I got up, walked just about all the way out and had to stop against the wall right before the door to exit into the lobby. I told Tyk to grab me a garbage can. He was like speedy Gonzalez getting that thing!!! By then the anesthesiologist realized we were leaving and saw that I was getting sick. He told me that we should get me back to the recliner and I told him I couldn't move. He told Tyk to go get the car and pull it around back. Tyk left and as soon as he did I knelt down to the garbage can and started vomitting. This was great... I was in the middle of the hallway, and a women with a stroller and a little boy were trying to exit into the lobby at the same time. Oh well... You gotta do what you gotta do, I guess! After I was able to stand up again, the anesthesiologist had a wheelchair for me to sit in and he wheeled me back to the recliner. I laid there a little while longer and next got a big shot in the butt. Yes, it felt like peanut butter going in, and I'm still bruised from it! This made me feel a ton better though, and we were able to go home.

The ride home was pretty miserable. I started feeling pain in my abdomen and up my back. It didn't help that the sun was in my eyes and we had to drive over an hour. Tyk did his best to get me home fast and I was in bed by about 10:45. I slept for most of the day, finally getting up at about 7:30 to eat some soup that Robin had made for me. I was cautious with how much I ate because I didn't want to get sick again, but still probably ate way more than I should have. i don't know what it was, but that soup tasted SOO good!

Friday I had to be back at work. I was really stressing about this all week. I had never been through this surgery and had only read about how people felt afterward or talked with friends about the experience. From everything I found out was that you need the day after to rest. I told myself that I needed to work because I was going to be taking three days off the next week and that I could manage through it. That is exactly what I did. It wasn't a good day, but it wasn't awful either. I wore a comfy dress, because you don't want anything touching your belly at that point, let alone pants even fitting with how bloated you are. I told all of my students that I had had surgery the day before and they were very understanding and super good throughout all of my classes. I just took it easy. If you are about to go through this process, don't think that you can't do anything the day after retrieval. You can, but you will be uncomfortable and wishing you were just laying in bed, but you can do it! I was so grateful that the weekend was next, and looking forward to laying around for the next two days. It's been much needed and my recovery is going well. I heard from a friend that the third day after retrieval was her worst. I would have to agree. Today is my third day, and I am defiantly the most uncomfortable. I slept horrible last night, and I was in the most pain. I don't know what it is, but my back hurt so bad. I got the heating pad going, took some Tylenol, and that seemed to help a ton. I think it is just my ovaries still slimming down from stimulation and trying to relax.

So whats next? Dr. G came in a little bit after retrieval and told us the she was able to retrieve 15 follicles! She told me that she was expecting 2-4 to mature and fertilize properly by transfer day. Honestly,,, I was extremely discouraged by this number. Out of 15 I would get 2? But I just had to remember that it only takes 1 to make a baby, and that's all I'm hoping for. She told us that the lab would be calling tomorrow (Friday) to give us a fertilization report. So if you're not sure how this whole process works let me explain it to you. First you stimulate the ovaries to produce as many mature follicles in your ovaries as possible without over stimulating them. Then you do the retrieval which is where they sedate you and go in vaginally with a needle. They enter through the vaginal wall up into each ovary and suck out the fluid in the follicle to get the embryos. From there, they put the embryo's into petri dishes and mix them with the sperm. They hopefully fertilize and then they implant one or two, depending on lots of things, back into the uterus kind of in a turkey baster type of way. Then... a couple weeks later you're pregnant! Hopefully. The lab called on Friday and told me that 7 of the eggs fertilized normally! I wasn't too fond with this number either honestly. That's not even half of the follicles that we retrieved, and what if they're not good quality... All of these things were going through my head, but then I decided to be grateful for my 7! I've decided that these next steps in our treatment is not in my hands, its in Gods. I've done everything I can possible to prepare myself for a baby. Now I need to have faith in that plan that I've mentioned several times and stop stressing about what I don't have control over. When the lab called, they told me that they would be calling again on Sunday to give me another status report. He explained that they were going to be taking the eggs out and looking at the quality of each one.  I was so worried that they would call and tell me that the quality of my eggs were poor and that all of this would be a waste. Typing this I realize how negative I have been, but when you've been through infertility for so long its just the way you cope with what could happen. You want to be positive and have all of the hope in the world. So you do, and then find out that it was all a big let down. I waited of the call anxiously today, and really I think that was a big contributor to my horrible nights sleep last night and me not feeling that well this morning. No call came, and I laid in bed all morning feeling bad about not feeling good. I had to teach today at my church and I was not excited about that because I didn't feel good. Tyk was so sweet though.... I needed cookies for my lesson today and I was not feeling well enough to make them. So he got up early and baked all morning getting my cookies ready for me! And man, those are some bomb cookies! I got up and made it to church. I'm not gonna lie, my lesson was pretty terrible but my sweet class was so kind and understanding. We even ended early and talked for the last 8 minutes about how the retrieval went. The girls also told me they'd come hang out with me on my bed rest days this next week. Anyway, back on track. After church we went to my in laws to see what was from breakfast. This is our weekly routine, but today the whole time I was there I was face timing my sister who is in Hawaii right now and was getting ready to get married!!!! This took my mind off of the time and helped me focus on her. I helped her do her hair over the phone and also put my two sense in on what earrings she should wear. I'm so so so beyond happy for her and her new hubby! It's about time they finally tied the knot! CONGRATS KARLI AND TORREY!!

As we were facetiming I got a call from a blocked number and I knew it was the clinic! I told Karli I had to go and answered the other line. The nurse told me to get a piece of paper to write somethings down on. She then began telling me that on Friday they had 7 eggs fertilize normally, and now they have two more that fertilized slower but were normal so we have a total of 9!!! She began telling me that they counted the cells of each egg and they like to see between 6-8 cells for day three which is today. She told me that we have 1 at 5 cells, 1 at 6 cells, 4 at 7 cells, and 3 at 8 cells!! I was so excited and relieved at this news. She told me our transfer instructions and we hung up the phone. I don't know why but I was so worried that we weren't going to have good quality eggs, and today I was proven wrong. Back to that faith thing i guess. For now I will keep my faith that everything will go according to plan and it will work out just fine! I mean to this point nothing has gone wrong, so I need to do the rest of my part.

The transfer is scheduled for Tuesday!!! We're not sure how many we are going to transfer at this point, and I'm not sure if we will until right before we actually do it. For now... we are grateful for what we have and will be praying for guidance on our next LIFE CHANGING decision! Tuesday I will officially be Pregnant until proven otherwise and I cannot wait! Afterward I'll be on what the clinic likes to call "Princess Days", which is bed rest, for two days and I'm actually looking forward to it. It'll be nice to have a break!

So many things are happening in our lives right now, and I'm so glad I can share it with all of you readers! I truly hope, once again, that our story is helping someone out there that may be struggling with infertility. Remember you are not alone!!!

And always,
THANKS FOR READING!

Love,
Shandee

Pre-Retrieval.... BRING ON THE BABIES

LOL I guess we took a picture before this one and I told Tyk I looked fat so this is the face I chose in order to look better in this picture....

This is what my belly looked like at school on Friday... Cruel trick to make you look pregnant before you actually are. Cool down Ovies.....

Nightly pill intake!

Great News!!!

Hello Everyone!!

It has been a good week full of appointments! We had another appointment at the Pleasant Grove Location yesterday. I thought We had to be there by 10:30, so we made a plan to leave the house at 9:15 just to give us some extra time. About 5 minutes before we were going to leave, I had a feeling to look at my calendar in my phone and make sure that our appointment was at 10:30. Come to find out it was at 10:15.... So I'm glad I listened to that still small voice! I told Tyk that our appointment was actually at 10:15 and we rushed out the door. Once we were on the road, Tyk had said "Good thing we planned on leaving early or we would've been late!" Usually I'm not the best person at being on time to places, but throughout this experience I have made extra sure to be on time. Maybe here is why... When you get to the clinic for an appointment, they make you sign in with your name, what time you got there, what time your appointment is at, your doctor, and if anything has changed on your insurance or personal information since the last visit. SO they pretty much make you acknowledge that you were late to a very important, and possibly life changing appointment, and I NEVER wanted to feel like an idiot for being late. We made it to the Pleasant Grove office with one minute to spare, and that was even with Siri trying to lead us a stray.

The appointment went well! The nurse didn't flick any goo on me this time and I felt a lot more comfortable with the situation. Robin, Tyk's mom came with us today. She has been so supportive through this whole process and so we invited her to come along. The nurse began the ultrasound, and my follicles (the egg houses) had grown since the last appointment. Robin asked what she was looking for, and the nurse explained that she was looking at the little black shadows in the pictures. She explained that these were the egg's homes and that we want them to be 18 millimeters before we do the retrieval. My follicles on the left were growing according to plan, but the right side was slacking and not quite as big.  The nurse said to probably plan on doing one more day of injections and then we would probably do the trigger shot according to my regular plan. Somehow throughout the conversation we started talking about how so many women are struggling with infertility now days. We mentioned how it is much more common now than years ago, and we decided that it must be in the food we eat or something. The nurse had said, "Ya what did they do to those Doritos's I ate as a kid?" She they said that a lot of the women in her neighborhood are patients at the clinic as well.. If you are one, like me, struggling with infertility, hang in there. Its a rough road, but with a positive attitude, faith in the plan that God has for you, and patience, it will all work out! Everything you are going through will make sense one day, and we can get through this together!!! The nurse finished the ultrasound and Robin had asked how many follicles I had. She told us that she would tell us when we came out of the exam room. So I hurried and got all cleaned up and we exited the room. I then got my blood drawn and as we finished up the nurse came in to tell us how many follicles I had. She said that I had about 11 on one side and 9 on the other. I was happy with this number, but a little worried about my right side. The nurse told us we were good to go and that they would call later with the blood work results.

On our way home we stopped at In N Out Burger, one of my most favorite places to eat!!! Tyk was giving me a hard time for wanting to eat there because it was only 10:40 in the morning. I don't even care what time of day it is, that place is good anytime of day. As we were ordering, Tyk had asked me if I wanted to share a fry and I looked at him like he was crazy, really. We both got our own fry and then I couldn't finish mine.... Oops! After we finished eating, we headed home talking the whole way about babies and whats to come! So many thoughts are constantly running through my head about what I'm going through, that its nice when other people want to talk about it too. Once we got back home, we dropped Robin off at her house and we had to run to our friend Michelle and Otis's house to pick up a medication I needed. She had extra, and was so kind to offer it to us, rather than me having to get it from the pharmacy. Thanks Michelle!!

It was Tage's (Tyk's Brother) birthday yesterday too and Kyla, Tages Fiance', had plans to go to a go chart racing place when we got home. The whole family went, and I sat and watched while the rest raced each other on the track. I have to be really careful with what I do right now to protect my potential babies! At the race, everyone had to wear helmets and they were each given a head sock to wear with the helmet. The boys though they were hilarious and kept them on, pretending they were dew rags!(I have no idea if that is how you spell it, but hopefully you know what I mean) Tyker wore it the whole ride home, pretending to be a gangsta and listening to rap music like usual!  Afterward we just went back to Tyk's parents house to do presents. Later in the night Tage had planned for some friends to come over for a little BBQ and cake and ice cream. It turned out to be a really good night with good friends and family!

Today we had another appointment to check the follicles. It was pretty stressful for me because it was right in the middle of school. So I had to find a sub to cover my 3rd period and make sure they were all good to go. By the time I left I had so much anxiety about leaving, but the damage was done at that point! My mom came to the appointment today, and I was worried about her being late to pick me up from the school. This probably added to my anxiety... But just to make sure she was going to be there on time, I called her from my classroom phone to see where she was at. Sure enough she was on her way and was waiting in front of the school for me when I walked outside. We got to the clinic and began the usually routine of ultrasound and blood work. During the ultrasound I was explaining to my mom what Ann Marie, my nurse practitioner was looking for, and I explained to her that the follicles were the egg's house. Ann Marie started laughing at me, and I verified with her that I was telling my mom the correct information. She confirmed that I was and kept going along with the ultrasound. When she was finished, Ann Marie showed us the follicle sizes that she had measured. My left side is in Beast Mode and I have multiple that are ready for retrieval!!! My right side, once aging, is slacking and still needs some time. Ann Marie said that Dr. G may want to do another day of stimulating but that the blood work would show more. I got my blood work done and Ann Marie told me they would call me with instructions later on today.

I made it back to the school in time eat a quick lunch and get supplies ready before 4th period started. I was relieved to be back and it looked like everything from 3rd period had turned out okay. As a teacher, its so much easier to just be there to teach your own class than it is to get a sub. I've learned this in the short 8 months that I have teaching.

Usually when I leave the school I have a voicemail from the clinic giving me the results on my blood work. Today I didn't have one, so I just tried to be patient. 5:30 came around, I still didn't have a call, and I knew the clinic closed at 5! By 6, I began to worry. I was talking to Tyk on the phone on my way home and I told him if i hadn't heard anything by 7 that i would call the after hours nurses line. I don't like calling them, I feel like I am bugging them, and I don't feel like they are very nice... While I was talking to Tyk the other line rang from the clinic. I told Tyk I would call him back and answered the call. Well.. It didn't last long because I didn't have the paper I needed to have for further instruction. I had given the paper to Tyker when we left the clinic because I didn't want to take it into the school and have any of my students see. So the nurse asked me when I would have the paper, and told me she would call back in about 25 minutes. I got home and began to cook dinner. 25 minutes passed and there was no call. I knew someone would be calling so I just kept my phone close and kept cooking. When I finally got a call it was good news!!! Dr. G has decided that it is time to have me take my trigger shot, which means that my retrieval with be on Thursday like it was originally planned!!! I was relieved to here this news because I have been worried all day about taking another day of stimulating injections due to my left follicles already being so big. I did not want to have the chance of hyper stimulation. This is where your ovaries get over stimulated and being to fill up with fluid. It can make you really sick and can even make it too dangerous to do the egg retrieval. In that case I would have to stop treatment this round and start all over from the beginning. The instructions for the trigger shot are crucial! This is the most important shot of all because it releases all of your follicles to be retrieved. The nurse explained to me the exact amount I was to inject and at exactly what time. I was supposed to inject 1 ml of water into the vile and then draw up 1/2 ml of medication to inject at exactly 8pm. She then told me of other instructions I need for the next two days. I tried to write everything down and I confirmed it back to her about three times I think just to make sure I got everything correct. 8 pm began to creep closer, and I was getting nervous about the shot. Tyk and I went into the bathroom to prepare the syringe. I had so much anxiety that the shot was going to hurt that I just kept saying "it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt." This shot, like the menopause came in a powder form and you add water to it to make it into a liquid. The time came around and I got ready to give myself the shot. As time counted down, Tyk counted down for me to do the stab. The poke wasn't bad, and as I was inserting the liquid, Tyk began to do his usual blowing on the injection sight. It actually didn't hurt that bad, and it made me feel good to think that this shot was potentially the last shot I would have to do to have a baby!

The next steps are to take a pregnancy test in the morning to see if the trigger shot worked. The test should be positive. Tyker will take a medication tomorrow to help with the semen sample he will give on Thursday. I need to order another "Zpack" from the pharmacy tomorrow for both of us to take. They suggested I eat a high fiber diet until the retrieval on Thursday to try and help with constipation. Thursday morning, we have to be at the clinic at 7:45. I'm not allowed to wear any perfume, makeup, or lotions to the retrieval. I was told that It can affect the embryo's, and potentially kill them. The actually procedure will be at 8 AM and should only last about 15 minutes. I will be sedated for this, and thank goodness I won't feel a thing. After the procedure I am going to come home and rest for the rest of the day. I hope to be back to school on Friday... but we'll just see how everything goes.

Our hearts are now full of hope as we enter into the next stage of this process. We know that we are doing and have done everything we can on our side of things this far. Now it is time to leave the rest up to Heavenly Father and to have faith in his plan. Hopefully I can stay come and relaxed for the next couple of days!

Wish us luck!!!

And ALWAYS...
Thank you for reading!

Love,
Shandee

9/5/16 day- second to last day of stimulating injections. WORK OVARIES WORK!!

Mama and I on our way back from my last ultrasound 

Tyk, Robin, and I in the exam room

Appointments, appointments. appointments!!!

So a lot has happened since my last update, and i'll try to remember all of the details!!

We had our baseline ultrasound appointment last Friday, 8/26. For this appointment, they just wanted to check out my uterus lining and do blood work to see how my levels were all looking. It was a short and sweet appointment, in and out in about 15 minutes. The ultrasound looked good and my lining was thin, which is what they were wanting. The blood work came back on track as well! They were testing my estrogen levels to make sure those were low in order to start my stimulating injections. When I got the phone call about my blood work, the Nurse Practitioner made me way nervous! I never get to talk to the staff when they call with results if it is during the week because I don't have phone service in the school. So during the day, I've just decided to turn my phone on airplane mode so it doesn't run my battery down all day trying to find service. Once I left the school, I listened to the voicemail that Ann Marie (the nurse practitioner) left me. She began saying that my estrogen level was low, and then sort of paused. So I immediately began to worry as I continued listening to the message. If I would have known what they were testing for when they did the blood work, then I probably wouldn't have been so nervous. But I didn't... Honestly I don't know what they are testing for with most of the blood work they take. I have just been going with the flow, figuring they know what they are looking for. Anyway, So Ann Marie proceeded to tell me that my estrogen levels were supposed to be low and that I could continue on with my plan of care as it was.

Baseline ultrasound appointment

Since everything was good and on track, I was able to start my stimulating injections last Sunday. So that put me at injection three shots daily! The stimulating shots are what boost your ovaries to produce multiple follicles, which are the potential babies. So in a much more simple form, I'm injecting ovary steroids to make lots of eggs!! Normally your ovaries are the size of almonds during the ovulation phase of your cycle. With the stimulation injections I am taking, mine can potentially become the size of oranges!! This is due to there being multiple maturing follicles instead of just a couple. Two out of the three that I am injecting are stimulating shots, and the third injection, Lupron, is making it so my body is not able to ovulate by itself. Once my follicles are the correct size, then I will be instructed to take whats called a trigger shot to induce ovulation. This is when we will do the egg retrieval, and hopefully get a lot of healthy, mature potential baby Belnaps! As of right now, I'm scheduled to do the retrieval on Thursday but that's not set in stone.

I do each shot every morning around 6 AM. I have to be as close to the same time everyday with each one. I've said in my previous updates that the Lupron shot stung just a little, but wasn't that bad. Well now that I have to do two on top of that everyday... I've changed my mind! Now two out of the three shots hurt like crazy!!!! The Menopure, which I have heard from other IVF patients, hurts SOOOO bad. Its a powder from the beginning that you mix with solution to dilute it and make into an injectable form. So it is already a thicker liquid going in, which is uncomfortable. And as soon as you think that it is going to only be that bad, it starts to sting like the worst bee sting ever! I'm not even exaggerating... Most mornings I have to stop half way through the shot to breathe because I feel like I might pass out from the stinging pain. I've heard that some people will numb the injection sight with an ice cube before doing this one. And then afterward they put a hand warmer pack on it for the next hour to relieve some of the pain. I haven't tried either of these because I don't feel like I have time to do that every morning, and I have this alter ego I guess that just tells me to not be a wuss and to just do it. This week has really put a toll on my belly though. That's where I do all of my shots. Everyday I alternate from the left side of my belly button to the right. At the beginning of the week I got my first bruise on the right side. It was probably the size of a raisin, not huge, but noticeable. Yesterday I got my second bruise, and it is huge and really hurts! It's like the size of a quarter, and it bruised immediately. And of course, it was from the menopure shot.. I'll take the bruises though. They make me feel like what I am doing really is hard, and that it's okay to be upset about it sometimes!

I'm on the count down now! Last Tuesday was the beginning of my count down. I had been doing my stimulating shots for three days and all of this was finally getting to me. I was telling Tyk how bad the Menopure hurt and how I really hope that this works. I then told him I only had one more week of shots and that I knew I could do it. I began thinking after I said that and then rephrased my statement to him. I said "only 21 more shots to go!" Looking at it like that was kinda sucky, but as the days have gone by its really nice to minus 3 from the list.

I have had 2 blood work appointments in the last week. One was on Tuesday, and the other one was Friday. The Tuesday appointment went well, and everything was on track. The Friday appointment, not so much. I was leaving the school when my phone showed that I had two missed calls form the clinic, and two voicemails. The first voicemail just told me to call the clinic to talk about my dosage according to my blood work results. The second voicemail explained a little bit more. Ashley the clinical nurse, told me that I needed to increase my dose of the stimulating shot by 50 units. From that point, of course I started panicking, assuming that my body is not reacting well to the stimulation. So for the last two days I have kinda been freaking out, and super stress about what is going on inside my body. This is the conclusion I have come to as to why I did this. I have been going through this journey for a long time, and over all this time my body hasn't reacted well to what we have tried. So I'm just assuming the worst, and that my body is doing the same thing that it has always done. Tyk tried to comfort me through this little freak out and told me to have faith and to be more positive. I knew he was right, but I just was so unsure of my body. I just wanted to see what was going on, and I just needed to be patient. On top of all of that, with the doctor increasing my dosage meant I didn't have enough medication to get me through the rest of my plan. This added more stress to the situation! I now had to get a hold of the fertility pharmacy and hopefully get a shipment of medication on the truck before it left. I got a hold of them pretty easy, but then found out that because of labor day and the weekend, the medication wouldn't be here in time for when I needed it. So then I had to get ahold of someone at the clinic to let them know I was going to run out of medication and that I could not order any to get here by the time I needed it. One thing after another....  I just could not get this situation to work out. Here's the problem... Its now Saturday, and the clinic isn't open for regular business, and I don't have the number for the on call nurse. So what did I do? I just kept calling the clinic and eventually someone called me back.  They told me that there is an emergency supply I can purchase at my next appointment, and to not stress about it. Fewww! What a mess....

I had an appointment this morning for an ultrasound and blood work. We had to drive to Pleasant Grove for this appointment because it's a weekend day, which is a little over an hour away. We usually go to the Murray location, about 40 minutes away. Before the nurse came in to do the ultrasound, I told Tyk that I had anxiety. I really just think the worst out of everything! The nurse came in, apologized for keeping us waiting and began to explain what she was looking for in the ultrasound. As she was getting ready to begin, she picked of the ultrasound stick and the gooey stuff they put on it to make the process more comfortable flung off of the stick right on to my leg. I started laughing, and the nurse apologized for the mess. This broke the ice for the rest of the appointment, and I felt a lot more calm. The ultrasound showed that my lining had thickened up like it should have, and that each ovary had some pretty good follicles growing!!! Everything is looking good, the nurse said, which was such a relief! When she left the room, Tyk let out a big sigh! I asked him if he had been nervous and he said yes! He is pretending to not be stressed through this whole process, but I know he is too. Its probably good that he is hiding it. I think I have enough showing on the outside for both of us.  I got my blood drawn today as well. The on call nurse just called and told me that all of my levels look great, and to keep everything as planned.


As for right now, I have another appointment tomorrow in Pleasant Grove again. They will repeat what they did today and make sure everything is still going well. I also have an appointment on Tuesday for the same thing. Now I am to the point in my treatment that I need to be monitored very closely. My follicles are just about ready for retrieval and my levels could change over just a couple of hours. For now, my retrieval is scheduled for Thursday!!! We will have to wait and see how tomorrows appointment goes to see if that is still the plan.

I'll update again with the results of the next couple of days. STAY TUNED!!!!

Thanks for reading,


Shandee

This mornings appointment